Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Movie Monday

Yeah, yeah I know, it's Tuesday.  But for the people at home, it's still Monday night so this totally counts.  Here we go, more of my super awesome movie critiquing expertise.

1. Hereafter

Hmmm... this movie was... I'm not really sure.  Matt Damon was great as usual and I really enjoyed it for the most part, but I very much agree with what one of the Rotten Tomatoes critics said (is looking at Rotten Tomatoes while writing my own movie reviews considered cheating?); that it builds and builds and builds to...nothing.  This movie gets lots of ...'s because ... is a very good way to describe how I felt at the end of it.  The characters were very likable, with the exception of Marie's skanky boss, who you are obviously supposed to hate.  I even teared up a little when one of the twins died.  The movie kept me very interested right through to the very end and I kept expecting some huge revelation or some shocking connection between the characters to be revealed but it never happened.  The movie just ended.  As soon as the credits started rolling I turned to Tim and said "that's it??????"  Ask him, it's true.  And yes, I asked it with six question marks.  The ending was all the more disappointing because the rest of the movie was so, so intriguing.  So I guess if you enjoy writing your own sequels, then this movie is for you.

2. Cowboys and Aliens

This movie was one of those movies that you just can't take too seriously.  It was enjoyable, the special effects were pretty impressive and Daniel Craig looked sexy riding a horse.  The movie was fairly well-paced with scenes of story interspersed with some pretty good action.  However, there were also lots of scenes in this movie that made me go "come on... really?!"  Like the part where the hot girl from House turned out to be an alien who had somehow taken on a super sexy human form and had the ability to come back from the dead after being thrown in a fire... "really?!"  The American Indians in this movie, while admittedly bad ass, were unbelievable stereotyped.  It was really ridiculous and actually kind of offensive.  And I don't even know anyone who is American Indian.   I felt offended for them.  Also, every single death scene in the movie involved someone holding the dying guy's head in his hands and the dying guy looking up and with valiant effort saying something deep and ground-breaking like "tell my father I love him."  By the way, I made up that line.  The actual lines in the movie were much cornier than that.  I just can't remember them.  In the end, good somehow triumphed over evil, despite the fact that the cowboys and Indians, who were armed with pistols and arrows, were fighting futuristic aliens with super destructo ray guns.  After we left, I tried to say something deep about how I thought the movie was a metaphor for how the original cowboys took over and killed off the original American Indians for the sake of gold and riches but Tim shot me down and told me that I was thinking way too much into it.  Was I?  What do you think?

3. Bridewars

I'll admit, I'd seen this movie at least twice before I watched it this week.  But, as a huge fan of Sex and the City, I'm a sucker for any chick flick that's set in Manhattan.  I liked this movie.  Both of the main characters were fairly well-developed and well-acted.  Plus, I like Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson.  I think the story was pretty plausible; I mean, I can definitely see how a venue like the Plaza Hotel could cause an epic battle between two best friends.  My only question is, how does a school teacher afford to get married at the Plaza?  I know she claims she's been saving her whole life but that wedding must have cost a small fortune!  Especially considering that she used some supposedly all-powerful and extremely exclusive wedding planner.  The movie barely touched on the brides' relationships with their husbands-to-be but, then again, the wedding is all about the bride.  This is definitely not an award winner by any means.  It's frivolous, shallow, and silly, with lots of pretty dresses and girly pranks thrown on top.  This movie is the perfect chick flick to watch with your girl friends on a rainy day while you paint each other's nails.  

4. The Virginity Hit:

I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't really pay much attention to this movie at all.  I have a tendency to bring out my computer and go online shopping during movies that I'm not that interested in.  It really pisses Tim off, especially when he's already seen the movie and only rented it because he thought I would like it (and also because he thinks I have way too many clothes to begin with).  It's too bad that I wasn't able to bring my whole wardrobe with me because what I have here is less than a quarter of all the clothes I own.  But I digress.

First of all, this movie was filmed like an amateur documentary.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It worked well for lots of other movies like Paranormal Activity and Cloverfield... but wait, aren't those both horror movies?  Well, this movie is about sex.  Or virginity, to be more specific.  It's the classic story of a teenage guy who wants to loose his virginity while his friends egg him on (and one of them films it).  There are some parts that make you go "awww" and some parts that make you go "eewww" and some parts that make you go "that's just wrong".  The movie was entertaining.  I can't say too much about it because, like I said, I did't really even watch it.  Most of the time I just felt sorry for the kid because his friends spent a lot of time having some laughs at his expense and embarrassment.  So in conclusion, I guess I would recommend this movie to most teenage or college-age guys.  The end.

I hope you all enjoyed the second installment of movie Monday.  If you like these, let me know, and I will keep writing more.  If you don't like them, let me know nicely, and maybe I will stop subjecting you to their awfulness (but probably not).  I hope you all have a nice and sunny day just like I'm having here on the coast.



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